The Arrogant Worms - If I Were Prime Minister
If I were Prime Minister, I'd transform the land
All things would be glorious, under my firm strong hand
I'd enlarge Prince Edward Island, and shrink the tax on booze
If I were Prime Minister, the Leafs would never lose
If I were Prime Minister, French and English, would be gone
There'd be no more two solitudes 'cause we'd all speak Klingon
And I'd give my buddies jobs, they weren't qualified for
Wait, I'm so sorry, I think that's been done before
If I were Prime Minister, Canadians would tan
In the Gulf of Mexico, where I'd put Newfoundland
If I were Prime Minister, I would use my power
To finally make the donut, our official flower
And I'd make it illegal to sit and bitch and whine
Though that might leave Canadians with too much spare time
And I would be Prime Minister if only for one flaw
I don't think that I could ever live in Ottowa
If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister (repeat)
I'd bathe in Maple syrup and I'd have a talking moose
And Mounties would massage me to keep me nice and loose
I'd get rid of the Queen, replace her with my cat
Appointment to the Senate would be trial by combat
I'd solve all the problems of this country's apparatus
By granting every person, nation status
I'd encourage global warming, move the jetstream further north
And I'd ban all politicians, except for me of course
If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister
I'd be super great, and you'd all
If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister
love me, you'd have to, 'cause I'd make it the law