Sheriff Fatman started out in business as a granny farmer
he was infamous for fifteen minutes and he appeared in Panorama
Then he somehow got himself on board The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
With a Prince of Wales award for pushing valium and amphetamines
Now he's moving up onto second base behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
At six foot six and a hundred tons the undisputed king of the slums
With more alias' than Klaus Barbie the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
Just about to take the stage the one and only hold the front page
Fatman's got something to sell to the capital's homeless
At The Crossroads Motelfor the no-fixed-abodeless
Where you can live life in style you can sleep in a closet
And if you flash him a smile he'll take your teeth as deposit
There's bats in the belfry the windows are jammed
The toilets ain't healthy and he don't give a damn
he just chuckles and smiles and laughs like a madman,
a born again Rachman Here comes Sheriff Fatman
With his valium, amphetamines his sick notes and his phoney prescriptions
And just when you thought it was safe to go back into the kitchen,
Dead legs and cracked heads Bunk-beds and breakfasts
Wake up you sleepy headcases check this
(etc)
Moving up now to take the place of Nicholas Van Wotsisface
At six foot six and a hundred tons the undisputed king of the slums
With more alias' than Klaus Barbie the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
In a hatchback from Notre Dame, the one and only Sheriff Fatman
In goes another left hook and now I'm losing my patience
Someone call up Roger Cook and The United Nations
he's buying up houses for hasbeens (help me)
From Lands End to Southend and Chelsea
There's bats in the belfrey the windows are jammed
The toilets ain't healthy he don't give a damn
He just chuckles and smiles and laughs like a madman
Ladies and gentlemen,I give you . . .
SHERIFF FATMAN!
etc