JONATHAN COULTON FIRST OF MAY FROM THE ALBUM SMOKING MONKEY intro: G C (with nifty hammer-on fingerpicking on the D string) I woke up this morning I had a scone and a large house blend And then a little conver-sation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends I said I’m sick and tired of winter And I wish that it was spring And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast (xx1212) Began to sing And he sang Ooh ooh child, what’d you think the cold winter’s gonna last forever Ooh ooh child, now’s the time for all the people to get together (x32333) Outside [chorus] Cause it’s the first of May, first of May Outdoor fucking starts today So bring your favorite lady (x23033) Or at least your favorite lay The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto Grass below you, sky above (x02010) Cadd2 Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called.. fucking outside I thanked him for the information I cried a little when he flew away I watched an episode of The People’s Court And I tried to plan my day I called up my old lady She wasn’t home so I called my girl I asked her if she’d like to join me as I (xx1212) Entertain the world And I said Ooh ooh child, I’ll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off Ooh ooh child, you’re gonna like it when we’re taking each other’s pants off (x32333) Outside [repeat chorus] So we went to the park together We were walking in the midday sun We met all kinds of people and we We fucked everyone We fucked a lady who sells ice cream We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei Everyone who needed fucking well they (xx1212) They got fucked today So come on Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel-the-spirit moving through you Ooh ooh child, you’ll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you (x32333) Outside [repeat chorus] (x02010) Cadd2 Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called.. / fucking outside, fucking outside, fucking outsi-i-i-i-i-ide