Band - Kevin Bloody Wilson Album - Kevs Back(Return of the Yobbo) Song - Mick The Master Farter ] [] [] [] [] I first []met him in the classroom back in []1963 And []we seemed to hit it off pretty good, we were []mates, Mick and []me He []wasn't such a big kid, even []back then at the start And he []wasn't all that clever either, but Jesus he could []fart I first []found that out in class one day, when []things were going pretty slow And []just to keep us all amused, Mick let this []fucking ripper []go Well, you []should’ve been there, look, I'd []describe it if I could But []I just turned around, and I said, "Hey Mick you’re fucking []good" And at the []end of school Grand Final on the []rugby field that time []We were getting beaten, they were []12 and we were []9 And play was []3 yards from our goal-line, when the []referee called a scrum And []Mick said, "Don't worry fellas, we've as good as got it []won" So we just []locked ourselves down in the scrum, and we []held each other’s nose And []Mick our little hooker, he let this []fucking ripper []go Well, it []stung their nose, and it burnt their eyes, and it []even scorched the grass And I []twigged right then and there, he had a double jointed []arse Chorus: []Mick, me mate the master []farter Put the art back into farting, with his custom tailored []farts []Mick, me mate the master []farter Broke new ground in breaking wind, with his []double jointed []arse [] [] [] [] And it was []just a couple of years later, we both []went to see Kamaahl It was a []really poshy sort of show, in this []great big bloody []hall And all the [E]blokes were dressed like penguins, and you []should have seen the sorts And []Kamaahl himself wore a sheilas dress, like a bloody black Boy []George And we were all []locked in there like sardines, for the []show to get underway But the []tuba player didn't lob, he'd []booked off crook that []day And Kamaahl said, []"Without a tuba player, I []cannot commence the show" So old []Mick jumps up said, "Sambo mate, I'll have a fucking []go" Well, from []then on in I honestly thought, that the []whole show would be ruined But he just []winked at me and picked that tuba up, just like he [A]knew what he was [E]doing Then the [E]maestro tapped his little stick to [A]tell the band to start And [B7]Mick just shut his eyes and cocked his leg, and then began to [E]fart Well you [E]could have heard a pin drop, that [A]night there in the hall And it's [B7]hard to say who sounded best, Mick [A]farting or Ka[E]maahl Then the [E]audience just went apeshit, they [A]cheered and clapped and stood And [B7]Kamaahl smiled as if to say, "Hey Mick, you’re fucking [E]good Chorus: [A]Mick me mate the master [E]farter Put the art back into farting, with his custom tailored [B7]farts [A]Mick me mate the master [E]farter With his true-pitch perfect, calibrated, [B7]double jointed [E]arse [A] [B7] [A] [E] Well, [E]good news travels fast it seems and it [A]wasn't very long Before [B7]Mick got this midnight phonecall from Ben [A]Lexan and Alan [E]Bond They said, [E]"Mick we've got this specialist job, and [A]we're prepared to pay ya [B7]Mick old son would you consider farting for Aust[E]ralia" We'll just [E]prop you on our brand new yacht, when [A]there’s no sea-breeze blowing And get [B7]Mick the master farter to start her and [A]keep the bastard [E]going So [E]Mick went into training on [A]sausage rolls and pies And [B7]Vegemite and Fosters beer and a scholarship from [E]Heinz The [E]world had never seen before a [A]yacht so finely groomed Or a [B7]crew so fit and young and strong, or an [A]arse so finely [E]tuned The [E]Yanks weren't even in the race, not [A]even in the same class What with [B7]Ben Lexan and his secret keel and Micks fuel injected [E]arse Well he [E]come back a bloody hero didn't he, the [A]all Australian boy And [B7]government commissioned this bloke to do a big [A]statue of his [E]koy And [E]I can still see Mick standing there when [A]they confirmed his Knighthood And [B7]Bob[NC] Hawke pinning it on saying, "Hey Mick, you’re fucking [E]good" Chorus: [A]Mick me mate the master [E]farter Put the class back into farting, with his designer-label [B7]farts [A]Mick me mate the master [E]farter [B7]Wth his true-pitch perfect, calibrated, turbo thrusted, fuel injected, W.I.N.G.S. protected, []double jointed []arse [] [] [] []