I want to have Stephen Lynch's kids! That's all there is to it! okay, gerbil! probably worse than "Lullaby" but hey it's Lynch. (pick the 1st verse) I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo If Richard Gere can do it, I can too. I get undressed and I start to lube I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube. (strum the pre-chorus) Wondering just how he'll feel will he like it better than his little wheel careful now he's right beside me one more inch and he's inside me GO!!! Gerbil go! (1st Chorus) Burrow harder, burrow deeper be my little chimney sweeper one thing I forgot about N/C how am I supposed to get you out (back to picking the verse) so now my gerbils won easy street it's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat the situation is beyond my control gotta find a way to get him out of his hole. (sturm pre-chorus) I tried crowbars I tried wires I almost hurt'em with a pair of pliers I tried cheese but he's not biting I wish this wasn't so exciting Go!!! Gerbil Go!!! (2nd Chorus) Jesus, I am such a sucker Please get out you fury fuuuahhh! I think I am getting ill N/C suddenly he's very very still (back to picking verse) Now it's too late my gerbil died I guess I have committed gerbacide here's some advice it's very clear cut (now strum verse chords) if you love your gerbil...don't stick him up your butt don't stick him up your butt little fury gerbil in your booty hole don't stick him up your booma whomma wam (start babbling to the music, kind of a scat like singing) (Ha! Scat...um...nevermind) Yeah! (end on chord A) any major life questions consult the manual there is a god, there is a plan and the spaceship is coming! - Maria Bamford, Comedy Central Presents