My Home Town by Tom Lehrer
Verse 1:
I really have a yen, to go back once again
Back to the place where no-one wears a frown
To see once more those super special just plain folks
/ / /
In my home town
No fellow could ignore, that little girl next door
She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown
Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free
/ / /
In my home town
Refrain 1:
I remember Dan, the druggist on the corner
He was never mean or ornery, he was swell
He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well
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And sprinkled just a bit over each banana split
Verse 2:
The guy that taught us math, who never took a bath
Acquired a certain measure of renown
And after school he sold the most amazing pictures
/ / /
In my home town
That fellow was no fool, who taught us Sunday School
And neither was our kindly Parson Brown
[line omitted to avoid prosecution under Communications Decency Act]
/ / /
In my home town
Refrain 2:
I remember Sam, he was the village idiot
Although it seems a pity it was so
He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow
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And nothing could be done, because he was the Mayor's son
The guy that took a knife, and monogrammed his wife
Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown
Oh, yes, indeed, the people there are just plain folks
/ / /
In my home town
Ahhhh... memories! Sounds just like my own home-town...