Tripod - Astronaut
Intro:
twice
I know what you're all wondering
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
I'll tell you why
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
It's those damn fat gloves
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
Cos the tea goes everywhere
The tea goes everywhere
Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
From their traditions to their modern way of life
But all their elegance and rich history
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
You might puncture the suit
You might depressurize
Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
But it's those damn fat gloves
They're the main problem
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
You can't make an origami swan
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
Well I've tried and they don't let you
Fucking NASA red tape
Interlude:
I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
I had to find myself a whole new job
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
It's those damned fat gloves again
Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
I'm haunted by fat gloves
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
Or ride a Kawasaki
When you're an astronaut
(let ring) (let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele
A#(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herring
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Capo 3rd fret version
Intro:
twice
I know what you're all wondering
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
I'll tell you why
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
It's those damn fat gloves
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
Cos the tea goes everywhere
The tea goes everywhere
Back to verse
Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
From their traditions to their modern way of life
But all their elegance and rich history
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
You might puncture the suit
You might depressurize
Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
But it's those damn fat gloves
They're the main problem
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
You can't make an origami swan
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
Well I've tried and they don't let you
Fucking NASA red tape
Interlude:
I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
I had to find myself a whole new job
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
It's those damned fat gloves again
Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
I'm haunted by fat gloves
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
Or ride a Kawasaki
When you're an astronaut
(let ring) (let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele
(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herri