This song is really simple Capo on 3rd fret E|-0----3----2----0-| B|-0----0----3----1-| G|-1----0----2----0-| D|-2----0----0----2-| A|-2----2----X----3-| E|-0----3----X----X-| Verse 1: All my days, I live with my disgrace I'm afraid to show my face Or at least take off my underwear... See I was born Like a half way neutered pet I don’t have a matching set It’s a part of me That just aint there Please, don’t stare Chorus Well I’m a gambling man with out two dice I’m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice Oh to have two testis would be so nice But I’m half a man Yeah, I’m half a man Verse2 Wanna die end it all, just call it quits I can’t find a cup that fits And at baseball games I feel so dumb When I hear “ball one? Oh, my God How could you have been so cruel To give me one family jewel And the one that’s there must feel so sad He’s a lonely nad Chorus 2 Well I’m a marathon runner with just one leg I’m a fallopian tube with just one egg Oh, I want another testi Do I have to beg? I’m half a man Yeah, im half a man Bridge .................... kinda like chorus Chorus 3 Well I’m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum And I’m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb And I’m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum I’m just half a man Yeah, I’m half a man